The Journey Part I: Awareness

Each night when you go to sleep, your brain throws you into your own personal Matrix. Your mind is giving you a scenario and a set of rules that dictate how events unfold. Whether or not you can take advantage of the opera your mind has set depends on how aware of it you are.

Just like in the Matrix, the rules set before you are not there to be broken, but shattered. Obliterated. Destroyed.

I have come up with three stages of awareness. These stages dictate how the dream unfolds and more importantly, how you act in the dream.

Awareness Level I: Zero Awareness

Everyone has experienced this type of dream. The nightmare with the monster chasing after you. A horrifying specter, devoid of features but nevertheless terrifying. As you run, your pace slows. You have no control over yourself. You are watching yourself fail and you have no way to stop the inevitable frightening end. All you can do is brace yourself and hope you can endure what it has in store for you. You are completely at the mercy of your mind.

The recurring nightmare is a prime example of this. Each time this nightmare is presented to you, the same opera plays out, and you can’t do a damn thing to stop it.

These dreams are the most frustrating. However not all of them are nightmares. I’ve had dreams where I wasn’t in control and the dream turned out quite pleasant. Some of them can be sad, but not scary like a traditional nightmare.

Of course, if you have never experienced the next two levels of awareness, all of your dreams have been this way, good or bad. Hopefully the knowledge I impart will help you at least elevate your awareness to level two.

Awareness Level II: Presence of Mind

Just like in the previous level, your mind has given you a scenario and a set of rules. However, when you are at level two, you are in direct and complete control over yourself. The dream no longer controls you, but it still controls the world you reside in. You act and react based on your own free will. Your decisions shape and form the dream. The dream is more dynamic.

These dreams cover the whole spectrum. From hellish nightmare to a paradise you will never want to leave, and you will be in complete control of yourself. The choices are yours to make, but you are still constrained by the rules your mind has imposed on the dream. Unless you find your way to the final stage.

Awareness Level III: Total Awareness

If you have ever experienced a Lucid Dream, then you have hit stage three. You are aware of yourself but you are also aware that you are in a dream. Now the rules that your mind has imposed on you can be subverted. You can let the dream play out the way your mind had planned for you or you can change whatever you like. Has your mind taken you to a dark place ? Perhaps your mind wants you to obey the Laws of Physics ? You now have the power to do something about it. Your mind is a giant sandbox. Your mind is your own personal playground.

This is where my journey started.

The very first dream I can remember having was a recurring nightmare I had when I was around the age of five.

– The Room –
Age: 5+
Awareness Level I
Recurring Nightmare

“The nightmare never came to be by itself. It was always tacked on to the end of whatever dream decided to show that night. The only dream I can actually remember took place in the Land Before Time universe. I cannot remember the exact details or even a vague recollection of the events that transpired, but I will never forget the ending.

I’m alone in a room. The room is devoid of features aside from the table in the center, a big frosted window in the middle of the front wall and it’s completely blue paint job. I cannot ignore the dread that is building up inside me. Fear washes over me as I see a figure stroll past the frosted window towards the door. I panic and hide under the table. I am stunned. There is nothing I can do to prevent my fate. The man walks over to the table and in the blink of an eye he bends over and finds me. A hideous smile was spread across his face, and I awaken in fear.

I was trapped by this nightmare. It plagued me. It followed me from dream to dream, always popping up here and there.

I am in the room again. I feel the fear and the rising dread. I see the figure cross the window and again I take refuge underneath the table.

This is different. I could feel something change. “I’ve done this before,” I thought to myself. I knew what was going to happen. The figure opened the door. I refused the refuge of the table and now stand behind it, knowing full well the consequences. The dream had changed. There was a set of keys on the tabletop. I had no idea how they came to be but I grabbed the keys and clenched them in my fist. I rose them high over my head and with all my might I drove them deep into the figure’s chest.

I awaken victorious. This was the last time I experienced the blue room.”

At first I was trapped by the nightmare. I was not aware of anything. I was at the mercy of it. How did I go from a simple observer to a creature who is in complete control over their actions ?

Two things come to mind. Since the nightmare was traumatic to me and happened more than once, it turned into a past memory. Each time it happened, the file the nightmare was under was brought to the forefront. Eventually the nightmare itself and the memory of the nightmare bled together and I realized that these events happened before. This gave me control so I could investigate the dream how I saw fit, no longer chained by the nightmare.

I found a way out. I have never had this nightmare since then. It has been abolished from my mind, only dwelling in my memory.

I still didn’t know what I stumbled onto. I was only a young lad at the time. It would be much later when I really figure out how to put this knowledge to use.

~ The One Who Writes


~ by bhvalence on September 9, 2010.

3 Responses to “The Journey Part I: Awareness”

  1. Very interesting. Scary dream you had as a child. I remember that my recurring nightmare stopped when I changed something in it too. And what is odd, is that all my dreams are in color, EXCEPT for that recurring nightmare. Maybe you can make a post on that topic sometime if you know anything about it. great new blog idea, I love it.

    • Thanks Kassie.

      I actually have never had a dream in black and white. I remember nightmares being dark and I suppose some of them could have been but that is something I think I would have remembered.

      Hopefully now that the idea is in my head it will happen.

  2. I like the new blog! Its only happened a couple times, but when I become aware of a dream state, I wake up and can’t continue. It would be cool to train the mind to continue to be aware but stay in the dream.

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